.:No Doesn't Mean Never...:.

I found a saying once, on a blog of one of my favorite actresses, Candice Accola. The quote was this, "No doesn't mean never, it just means not yet." 

This last Friday I participated in the Idaho State Drama competition in the category of Solo Serious. I made it further than I have before, and qualified up to the Semi-Finals. While this is a great achievement, I was somewhat saddened by my so called "success". I was disheartened, being the harsh self critic that I am, and was put into a bit of a hopeless mood. I felt like I failure, because I didn't meet my expectations, which would've been making it to the finals round. As a made the drive home, along side my mom, I began to spiral down caught in a frenzy of all my "failures"... 

As I continued to drive down the road that seemed to be never ending, the quote above came to my mind. This immediately improved my mood, and I realized, for the first time, the truth in this statement. And while I may never be able to compete again in this high school competition, I will have many other opportunities to pursue my talents. 

In this world it is necessary to taste failure before we can partake of true success. Though with that said, I've realized that we determine our own success and failure. At the end of the day I reflected on my talent and effort that I put into this competition and made the conscious decision to make this competition, in the never ending rows of my brains library, a success. While I may not have "won" I did perform to the best of my abilities, and no matter what anyone thought, in my own minds judgement I performed to the tee of all 10:1 perfects. 

"No doesn't mean never, it just means not yet."