.:Undesirable:.

I'm not one to throw pity parties however, I am human... 

Therefore, I do need to vent every once in a while.

This might sound very cliche` but I feel as if I am always the odd one out, and not in a good unique way.

Even surrounded in a crowd of familiar faces, I feel detached.

I feel nearly invisible.

Yet I'm clearly solid and made of flesh. 

I feel close to isolated.

Yet I'm obviously not alone on this Earth.

I feel ugly.

Yet I have a belief that every one has beauty.

I sometimes dread waking up, because I know that when I do it will lead to another day of emptiness. 

Don't get me wrong, I am happy and I appreciate life, I just always feel like there is something missing...

Regardless of what others say, I feel like no one understands.

I feel like I am a throw away kid sometimes...

I feel like the sooner I leave this place the better.

I feel like a locked door whose key lies on the inside.

I don't want to be recycled, but I feel as though it would be easy for others to throw me in the bin...

I feel like I need to escape. 

I feel that though this may not be the place for me, there is a place for me... and maybe these people can't fully understand me, but somewhere there is someone who does... 

My soul needs to travel and explore.

I am an outsider.

But with all that said it seems to be that...

"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different."

-Coco Chanel

And no one person is just like another.

...

.:Facebook Cleanse:.

I am going on a Facebook cleanse. 

I will see how long I can go without getting on Facebook; however, my goal is to not sign on until the last day of school...

Social Networking sites definitely have their benefits, but likewise they also have their faults. They can be draining, addicting, and mind numbing. 

And to be quite frank, my mind needs a break.

I'm going into a non-social networking coma. 

(Besides my blog, but I don't really consider this a social networking site.)

This sun is setting but it will rise again.

So Goodnight my fellow facebookers/twitterers/and whatever else...

.:Skies from a Different Perspective:.

Travel

I have come to the conclusion that the best way to find out who you really are is to travel. 

I have been to quite a couple different places; however, it has always been with the accompaniment of my family. Not to say that is a bad thing, I just think when you do go out and find yourself it should be for yourself and without those who have guided you your whole life. Part of the real experience of travel is to discover things for yourself. I am still at the age where I don't have much opportunity to travel completely alone, but in this summer of 2012, I will be taking a huge leap and traveling to Thailand and Beijing. I have only flown on an airplane twice in my life, and both times I was with people I knew well and the trip was no longer than three hours, so that being the case, I am quite nervous to be traveling such far distances alone. But that is part of the experience. I hopefully will be able to blog while I am away. I want to document everyone and everything I meet. 

"To be on a quest is nothing more or less than to become an asker of questions." - Sam Keen

.:Failure:.

[]Failure[]

We can't expect not to fail.

Failure is part of life, part of learning, and part of making new discoveries.
In order to learn we must fail.
But most importantly, in order to fail we must try.

And in the end it is those who can accept failure, try without losing faith, and endure til the end... Yes, those are the people who come out on top of the world.

Failure when handled the right way leaves us that much more determined, brave, and strong.
Let failure motivate, as opposed to deteriorate. 

.:Tapioca Pudding:.

Nom. Nom. Nom.

Today is slightly over cast, and a bit brisk (or perhaps a bit more crisp rather than brisk) anyway... It is 12:17 and i'm eating delicious Tapioca Pudding... Yep that's right the stuff you thought was fish eggs when you were a youngin'. 

Mmm... Now doesn't that look delicious? 

.:Jessa Rayne:.

Beautiful. Pure. Amazing. Perfect.

Life is so beautiful, especially the innocence of a new born infant.

Jessa Rayne.

She was born at the magical time of 3:33PM. 

A gift to everyone who will have the opportunity to have her in their lives. She has a gorgeous head of blonde hair and (it is too soon to tell) but i'm sure she will have stunning blue eyes just like her parents.

It's beyond exciting having her new precious soul on this Earth.

There isn't words to describe the beauty of this little girl (and the beauty in any new soul for that matter)

It reminded me of the saying "Ignorance is Bliss."
She truly is a miracle. 

<3 Your Aunt Samii. 

   

.:Sewage in My Head:.

Do you ever have those days when you are really unhappy? And it's usually for no apparent reason at all...

Yeah, I've had one of those days and I hate it. I hate it mostly because I know that when I am upset I am making a conscious decision to feel that way. I mean I think it is alright to be in a state of emotion other than being happy, every now and again... but like I've heard from various people, numerous times before, "Cry for five minutes and then get on with life." Or in other words life is too precious to waste on times of self pity. 

We just have to realize that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all have things we don't always want to accept about ourselves. And there is always room for improvement. 

Which brings me to my last point: Have the ability to recognize, cope, and if possible correct your flaws. That being said, don't judge others when really the only person you have the right to judge is yourself... unless you're perfect... which I'm sure you're not. 

But to end on a lighter note, just remember to...

"Follow Your Bliss."

.:Life:.

Life is so fragile. 

This year has really made this statement true for me. 
Not through experience I've had personally, but through the trials my loved ones have gone through this year.
It started with the death of my Uncle, soon after that my Great Uncle scared us by having a stroke and being held at the hospital in critical condition. Days after he was committed, my Great Aunt was taken to the hospital... His wife, my Great Aunt (who they thought would live over him) died. Now just this morning my Grandma has fallen victim to stroke... 

Don't regret the life you live.
Life comes as quick as it goes...

.:Over a Mountain:.

It's great to escape, 

even for just a week.

I really enjoy the solitude of Stevensville, Montana. 

It's a beautiful little place away from anything mainstream. 

I think everyone deserves the opportunity to escape from their life, every now and again. Sometimes to move forward, we have to first take a step out of our reality. 

Divided by a mountain, 5 1/2 hours away, is a place where I go nearly every other weekend, my 2nd home.